Being Gay & Latino

2005-12-10T23:15:00.000-08:00

Traveling is something I love to do. Going to different places and exploring a new location is just one of the things I love about traveling. I have an extreme case of aviatophobia (fear of flying) but it doesn't stop me from boarding an airplane that will wisk me away to some far away place.
In the past 4 years I have been to Dallas, Boston, Philadelphia, Buffalo, Washington D.C., Richmond, Miami and Orlando. Internationally, I have been to Montreal, San Juan, Santo Domingo, Toronto, London and Manchester. I have explored most of the cities gay scenes and I have to say, compared to NYC, I wasn't too impressed.
Last month, I went to Toronto for a weekend. It was my third time going and I really have to say that I love Toronto. It's one of my favorite places in the world. I went in the end of October and beginning of Novemeber so it was already cold. They get the artic air early in the fall. I walked through the gay area, and for those of you who were fans of Queer as Folk, know that the fake Pittsburgh was actually Toronto in disguise. Most of the gay shops and owned businesses run along Church Street. Zelda's is a gay restaurant with alot of character. The food will definitely satisfy anyones late night cravings. The best clubs to go to are Fly (the original Babylon on QAF) and the new 5ive night club. The best bar is probably Woody's (from QAF too). I found the Toronto people to be friendly and courteous. I didn't run into anyone rude. Everyone seemed to be mellow and even their "rush hour" seemed tranquil. I can't say enough good stuff about Toronto! The gay guys in Toronto weren't particularly cruisy but they will approach you if they are interested.
Last week I was in Chicago for my second time. The first time, I was there for business about 4-5 years ago, but this time I had all the time in the world to explore. I don't really think Chicago is all that great for a gay getaway. Michigan Avenue with all its shops and sophistication are great but for those seeking a good gay scene- might be dissapointed. Most of the gay businesses are on North Halstead Street and the surrouding vicinity. The best clubs are Circuit and Hydrate. The best bars to go to are Roscoe's and Sidetrakk. I really have to say I had a great time in Sidetrack. They put some good amount of time and money into that place and I was impressed by way it looked. The best night is Saturday night- but get there early because you might have to cue to get in. The Chicago people reminded me alot of NYC with the attitude. I didn't have any incident in particular but I just sense it in the air. Everyone is kind of minding their own business and don'd have time for anyone. The Chicago gay guys are very, very cruisy. They are very forward and will make it known what they think about you.
In New York City, we are very spoiled. I think we find some of the most beautiful people in the world right here. Models and actors walk down the street. It's just and abundance of pretty people here. Of all the places I have been to, Miami ranks second in most attractive people. I have been out and about in almost every city but there's nothing like NY. I'm going to do some more traveling through Europe and more U.S. cities next month, I'll keep you posted if the list changes.

2005-11-20T12:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight is Saturday night and I am home on my computer. There is one of two reasons why. There is either a blizzard outside or I am "under the weather". Of course if you live in New York City, you already know it's the latter.
I thought I would express what's been on my mind (not that I need a blog to do so). It's not in any particular format or order. I just thought I would just write stuff down and somebody would read this. Maybe I can do it in a question format to keep it interesting. Let's see....
Why is it that people won't admit that they were Milli Vanilli, MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice fanatics? Somebody bought their music! Are these the same people who are listening to reggaeton today?
Why do people think it's ok to be rude because they are in a bad mood and then get angry when others give them attitude?
Am I the only one who thinks Rap music sucks? Is Hip-Hop going down the same route?
Am I the only one who thinks Usher is physically unattractive?
Why do men think that obviously cruising someone then making a sexually suggestive comment is a compliment?
Are there only ugly guys and losers on online dating services?
Why is it that people in movie theatres don't realize that talking outloud and kicking the chair in front of them is annoying?
Why is it that people who usually win the lottery don't deserve it?
Why is it that someone who is obviously ghetto will never admit to it?
Why do people still smoke?
Why is anyone Republican?
Why are we in Iraq? Where is the nuclear stockpile? Why did't we go into North Korea as well?
Why do Americans think everyone else around the world loves our Western ways?
Why do French people have a bad rap?
Why do adults believe in Jesus and not the Easter Bunny?
Why have movie plots gotten ludicrous lately?
Why did Ruben Studdard win American Idol?
Why is Cameron Diaz still a working actress?
Why do people on the platform stand right in front of the doors of a subway car that is about to open?
Why are people still dying from AIDS related illnesses?
Why are gay men still having unprotected sex?
Why isn't Oprah President?
Why is there rubber-necking on roadways?
Why don't human beings fit into the cycle of earth?
Why don't most older Dominican women fit into their jeans?
Why do Mexicans and Irish guys drink to get trashed?
Why do Italian-American mothers in Long Island sound like Fran Drescher?
Why do gay Italian guys from Long Island sound like their mothers?
Why do ugly people always swear they are drop dead gorgeous?
Why are people prejudiced?
Why aren't people real?

This is the kind of week I had, interesting huh?

2005-11-19T23:09:00.000-08:00

Madonna-
Very few artists can consider themselves living legends. Mrs. Ritchie is definitely one. Success in a career isn't something that can be maintained perpetually but Madonna has found the perfect formula to keep the public intrigued in her music. She has certainly lost some fans along the way during her many transformations but she certainly can garner almost anyone's attention when she is on television. Other artists look up to her for inspiration. Jennifer Lopez, Lil Kim, Britney Spears, Christina Aguillera and Ashanti are just a few who give Madonna credit for inspiring them. Others try to knock her.
Mariah Carey allegedly said in an interview that she hasn't paid attention to Madonna since she was popular in the 80's. Mariah needs to keep her mouth shut and only open it to sing one of the five octave notes she can supposedly hit. Mariah is a mess. She is still trying to be sexy and provacative but nobody thinks she is hot. Her videos suck, her songs have become mediocre, she can't dance to save her life and she defintely has the worst stylist in the music industry. If she was smart, she would take notes from Madonna and apply it to her career so she can take over Madonna's reign. There is no doubt Mariah has one of the greatest voices in the world but if you've followed her career, you can see that sometimes that's not enough to keep the buying public interested in you.
From reading this, you might think I am a Mariah hater, but actually I have all of her albums (except for the dreaded "Glitter" album). I think she is a great talent but needs to take a look outside of herself to be a phenomenon like Madonna is today. I think Mariah has the potential and that's the only reason I am disappointed with her career choices. Hopefully Mariah will have learned something from that nervous breakdown (or whatever you want to call it) she had.
Madonna doesn't follow fads in music or personal style. She does her own thing, and it pays off. Everywhere around the world, she is a tremendous success and doesn't have to jump on the hip-hop bandwagon to satisfy the thirst of the 15-25 year old demographic that watch MTV. Her new album "Confessions on a Dancefloor" is a totally upbeat, dance oriented album. A format not currently on rotation on the top 40 radio stations, MTV/VH1 or other music channels. Madonna is making music the way she wants and not to satisy anyone else but people who want to hear good music. In case some of you didn't notice..... this is a Madonna plug! "Confessions on a Dancefloor" is out November 15th.

2005-11-03T16:43:00.000-08:00

SELF ESTEEM ISSUES.....................................................................
We are all guilty of it, we all have done it at some point of our adult lives. We chat online trying to see if we find the man of our dreams. We do it for hours on end and it becomes an insatiable quest. We can't seem to pull ourselves away from the computer screen because maybe we will come across "the profile" that will change the course of our lives. It's definitely wishful thinking but how many people do you know have met the love of their life online?
What about the friend that goes out and dates every single guy they come across just because there is the thought that even though the guy they've met isn't their type at all but he might be molded into something workable. It gets annoying when my friends introduce me to new guys every few weeks and I can see clearly that it isn't going to go anywhere. I want to tell them what I really feel but I don't want to take away any little happiness they may be feeling even though in my opinion it's only temporary. The only time I ever make a comment is when the temporary relationship affects my friendship. Things like ditching me when we make plans, not receiving calls from the friend anymore and the infamous "disappearing act".
I know no one wants to be alone, as much as nobody likes to admit it but it's totally true. We need to start appreciating ourselves a little more and stop acting like we need someone to be complete. You are already complete, having someone to share your life with is great but not vital. Remember that real friends are very difficult to come across. They will be there through thick and thin. Relationships come and go, but the people that will be there to pick you up after each time are your friends.

2005-09-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

PRIDE YEAR-ROUND>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I am proud of who I am. There are many things that make me the person I am. One of them is being Latino. Two is being of Dominican heritage. Three is being American. I love those things so much but I don't flaunt it. Not because I am ashamed of it but because there are so many other things that make me who I am.
I live in New York City and this blog is about my observations during the 29 years I have been living on this earth. So let me start it that way because what I am about to write may bug many people.
Why is it that Puerto Ricans and Colombian people in NYC are so boisterous about their heritage and pride? I know plenty of Puerto Ricans- I've been involved with one for 8 years. He isn't like this at all but we both wonder the same thing. Why do some Puerto Ricans think that being Puerto Rican is being the ultimate Latino?
I remember in the third grade- I had a friend who asked me if I was Puerto Rican and I said no. Then he told me straight out he didn't want to be my friend anymore. I know it sounded petty and childish but that kid was being conditioned by somebody at that age to think that Puerto Ricans are the best. I also remember watching the Felix Trinidad boxing match on cable. Puerto Ricans everywhere were glued to their tv sets waiting for Trinidad to win. He got his ass kicked. On my way out of the venue where I watched the fight- a drunk Boriqua comes up to us and says: "he's not Boriqua, he is Dominican". Well just a few minutes before he lost he was FULL BORIQUA. Now that he lost, he is Dominican. I can go on and on about how most people assume I am Puerto Rican and say wow, you don't look Dominican and you don't sound Dominican- but I want to keep this short. Puerto Rican pride has gotten annoying. Sorry to say. It's an island in the Caribbean, just like Jamaica, Cuba and Hispaniola. It doesn't float over the water. I am tired of when I go to a club and hear songs about Boriquas and chants and all that crap. It's tired. Puerto Rican pride day in NYC is officially one day. Not 364 days a year. I'm over the flags everywhere on cars, the coquis and all the Hello Kitty like knick-knacks I have to look at. I love my Puerto Ricans friends but I don't see them as Boriquas, I see them as my great friends. I love Puerto Rican food and culture but the pride is WAY over done. Obviously not every Boricua is like this but I am not the only one who has made this observation.
Now Colombians are a different story. I didn't meet any until one of my best friends started dating one and moved out to Jackson Heights. I started meeting a lot of Colombian people and generally they are kind and gentle people, but the pride issue puts them in close second to the Boricuas on the pride nuisance factor. I sat around with many different Colombians and for some reason, I came across the superiority issue again. "In Colombia we have this, in Colombia we have that", but they are here in NYC. Colombia has everything and more than the U.S. according to these ignorant bunch. Shakira and Juanes and Carlos Vives are gods that can be found nowhere else other than Colombia (I happen to love Shakira too). Its all good. I appreciate their contribution to the world of entertainment but it doesn't make the world go round. Colombia is one country in Latin America that has many great qualities but STOP the boasting.
Why cant we have Latino pride? Why can't we have unity in our own people? I used to live in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood and the ONLY time I saw the flags and the parades going down the block was on Cinco de Mayo. Thats it. I think that is the right way of doing it. We live in America. Be proud of where you live and also where you come from but don't put down other countries and cultures and make yours the best. We are in the end all human beings and the beauty of it all is that we are none alike. I see beautiful things in Puerto Rico and Colombia but I live in New York and I love this city and country. I don't agree with many things of our government and society but I am here because I choose to stay here and I wouldn't live anywhere else.

2005-08-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

Let's you and me CONVERSATE.............................
It's something that has been bothering me for a long time. I hear it left and right in the Latino community and it irritates me to the core. Improper English. Many Latinos are bilingual and sometimes we do something called Spanglish, where we join parts of English and Spanish words to combine them into one that makes absolutely no sense to our Anglo American English speakers. It probably started out as an innocent mistake, but now has turned into an epidemic. Some Latinos also tend to chop up words or smash them into an easier pronouncing word such as: "let me AX you a question" or "is she going WITCHU?"
I grew up in a middle class family but raised in Washington Heights, a predominantly Dominican neighborhood. My parents were both immigrants and learned the English language. They made sure I spoke it properly and also made sure we spoke Spanish at home too. In my neighborhood, I was surrounded by different types of people which I could have been easily influenced by. The ghetto kids, the Spanish speaking Dominicans kids, the smart kids, and many other types. Some spoke words that I could never repeat at home because my parents made sure it would not rub on to my vocabulary. I am glad they enforced those values on to me (even though I rebelled at times) because it helped me so much when I got older and started applying for college and jobs.
It wasn't all without turmoil. I got taunted for speaking properly. Some Latinos told me: "you talk like a white person". I would be so insulted by that on many levels. How dare you say that because I speak proper English I sound like a W.A.S.P. and that I am somehow turning my back on my Latin culture because I prefer to speak English properly. The ghetto slang isn't something I relate to and I am glad it's something I dont speak. I never feel discriminated against and I am always respected by the people I work with. I can never claim to be a victim because of my background or because of my education. I choose NOT to talk like I am coming from a 50 Cent video and because of it, I feel that my future endeavors can be broadened.
Some guys I have dated in the past have had trouble with the way I talk and vice-versa. YOU can go on talking the ghetto talk and see how far it gets you beyond your little ghetto borders. The world is an enormous place and Ebonics is not a widely recognized form of communication. I am not a nerd if thats what you are thinking (not that there is anything wrong with it). People are actually suprised when they hear me speak, but I am glad to break down those stereo types. You'll be suprised how much proper grammer influences your career goals and life goals in general.
For the record: CONVERSATE ISN'T A DAMN WORD!!!!!!!

2005-08-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

A great moment in Dominican history was when Ms. Amelia Vega took her victory walk after winning the title of Ms. Universe in 2003. This was the first time the Dominican Republic had won. Amelia has since appeared on numerous television shows and worked as guest reporter on several spanish language television news programs. Amelia is the new standard of beauty for contestants from countries all over the world. She is arguably one of the most stunning Ms. Universe winners in recent history and I am proud to say she is Dominican.
In 2005, Dominican Republic also had a finalist in the top 3 Ms. Universe contestants. Ms. Renata Sone was Third Runner-Up.

2005-08-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

DR FLAG- MI ORGULLO

2005-08-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

Living in New York City and being a young Latino male is tough. Being a young, gay Latino in New York City is even tougher. The places where we can go to find others like us are so limited. The places that do hold congregations of gay Latino males isn't exactly the type of place I love to frequent. My friends have heard me say this over and over. Let me explain........
I have lived in New York City my entire life and it is what I am used to and love dearly. I am a Latin-American and proud of it. I just happen to find the places where I am supposed to meet other Latinos aren't places that I can relate to. I love my Latin culture including it's music, food, and all it's other diversities, but I live in America.
The places that are for gay Latinos aren't exactly places you would write home about. If you go out to Jackson Heights (Queens) you will find a big gay Latino community. It's a beautiful thing, but the places where they go are less than stellar. We have Music Box, Atlantis, Friend's Tavern and the infamous Lucho's bar. These places are the epitome of the saying "dive joints". If you lean on a wall at Music Box, you'd better hope whatever just got on your shirt washes off with the new Oxy Clean you've been seeing in those infomercials. It's a shame that this has become acceptable for the patrons that do frequent these places. Another problem I have is the music being played at these establishments. I don't want to turn this into a music review column but I dont think the "Macarena" and (the just as awful) "Ketchup Song" are tunes I want played when I am trying to have a beer. I swear, they do play it. I once ran out of Atlantis on New Years Eve 2003 because of this very reason. I personally don't like Cumbia, Ranchero, Merengue, Bachata or Salsa. The new (but just as irritating) Reggaeton has become popular among Latinos all over. I can appreciate the artform but, again I can't relate. I'm Latin-American.
Some of my friends like to go to these places because they are residents of Jackson Heights. "It's convenient" they say. For me it's an inconvenience and near torture to have me go. They don't bother asking me to join them anymore.
In the city, there is Escuelita. It looks like a 1970's restaurant turned into a poor excuse for a dance club. It's so bad. The drag shows are great, which I do give credit to the Escuelita "girls" but it is so embarrasing for me to walk in there. I feel that this is poor representation of our gay Latin community.
Heading downtown to Chelsea and Greenwich Village you find many gay bars and clubs. The most popular are G Lounge, GYM Bar, View Bar and XL. These places have well designed bars, nice furniture, clean bathrooms and great speaker systems playing a fantastic mix of music. Money was put into these establishments to make them attractive to the clientele. And who are the clientele? The majority are white males between 21-35 years of age. Is this registering?
I spend lots of money in these places and I never feel it's money lost. I enjoy myself, but there is something missing. My Latinos. You'll see a few tanned skinned guys walking around but not enough to make me happy. Don't get me wrong, I love my white guys but I feel Latinos should be able to be as comfortable in these places as they would in a place like Luchos.
Is it the music? Or is it the muscle boys that make places like XL intimidating? I don't know. I just hope that we can raise our standards and not take whatever is convenient to us. Until then, I will have to be the Latin Chelsea Guy.